What next?

Some days this is how I feel and yet other days, I have this knowing it is all OK. I expect the controlling ego centre of me is still making its presence known. I am changing...I know I am changing, I can feel it...I live it...but some days I wonder just what is happening and where will it lead to?

These are the days when I am tired. I have been doing too much lately and I have felt swamped. I need to focus on calming my busy mind and body. Too much of my time is spent doing things for others. We need to serve others, but not to the detriment of our self. As a mother, we are conditioned to put others needs before our own. I have prided myself on my wonderful ability at being a mother. I have felt a sense of pride and achievement that nothing else has been able to match, however it came at a cost. I put my needs second. I attended to them when I had time and habits like these are hard to break.

I am now putting my needs first.....but sometimes I forget, take on too much and fall into a heap. I am picking myself up out of the hole I have been in for a couple of days now. I went to a group mediation today. I enjoy meditation; I find it easy and I was at peace when I was there. I came home to a bit of chaos, but proceeded to then eliminate a couple of activities and dates I had agreed to. It felt good. I am honoring my story again. Just as I needed to.

I have my next course this Sunday....Indian Head Massage. I am looking forward to this. I enjoy the sense of touch and enlightenment I receive from these courses. It is another cog in the wheel of my new story. I needed todays meditation to put me back on the journey. I had slipped off and was floundering. I am back now and feel so much more balanced.

I have ordered my new business cards for my Holistic Healing Journey. They are a simple, elegant design which will allow me to hand out to people who need my numbers. I am finding this easier and easier to talk of my new direction...of my story. I have been doing my voluntary reiki sessions and have repeat clients. I am still in my learning phase. I still love it for what I can give and for what I receive.

I am learning balance...Tri Hita Karana...The balance of life...my learning lesson for now.