28th January 2011

Foods that help or foods that hinder....

Today I awoke pondering this thought.....

It was quite profound. I know there is a core thought that there are foods that hinder our feelings. We eat them for the euphoria that it intially will allow us to feel, but the real reason behind our craving such foods is to mask a feeling, a unhappy thought or sensation. In time we completely destroy these natural abilities to determine food that can help or heal.

Children have this ability. They instinctively know foods that are good for them. My own son was a case in point. He steadfastly refused to eat tomato and I had the good grace to resist removing this natural ability in him. Many years later we found out that tomatoes have a high acid/salyciate (spelling) component and these would make his headaches worse. When he no longer ate these foods, then the headaches have disappeared. His body instinctively knew that this food was not good for him.....and here I was trying to destroy this knowledge all because this food was "good for him". This began an enlightenment that there is something in this food/mood correlation....not that I used it to any of my best interests.

Chocolate and starchy foods are a big downfall for me. These are known to have anti-depressant qualities. The catch is they are to be used in very small quantities. By overdosing, so to speak, then the benefit becomes a massive negative and all good things become toxic. I have been toxic for so long that I do not know the true foods my body wants. I have to now start to really listen to what I want. I am not sure if meditation will guide me, or if that knowledge will still be there for me....either way, I will be finding out as I venture further on foods that will help my physic knowledge and journey.

I have been accepted into a Reiki I course at the end of February. Reiki is a healing energy passing through me to the patient. I need to be able to clear my channels of healing energy so I can undertake this course to the best of my ability.

I call upon all God and all his Archangels to help me undertake this massive detox of my soul, spirit and body.

Tri Hita Karana....

Doorways....

When you know that God doesn't close one door without opening another door, then it feels easier to somehow understand all the changes that are happening with me.

The other bit of information that I have read lately is that this is the year about me. I have always done what others have wanted me to do for years. I needed to do this to be the mother/wife/friend I needed to be, but now I am ready for this year to be about me.

What is it I really want? What is it that I really need to do? There are no limits either self imposed or imposed by anyone else. I have no time frame. There is no structure and guidelines that I will follow. I will just follow my nose for when you open the doors, the beginnings of the newness will flow towards you.

I have always wanted/needed to control all of everything around me. I would mistrust others to do anything that needed to be done. Slowly, but no...
Not slowly, quite quickly for me, I have allowed things to happen that I have felt no need to control. I have been happy to just sit back and watch what happens. This has been most evident with my children. I put many years of good, hard work into them to allow them to be the adults that they are now. I now have to let them fly. Not hover over the top of them. They deserve to be able to live a life free of encumbrances and people imparting well mentioned advise which is just nostalgia from their pasts, free to live a life of fullness and wonder. The releasing of the bonds has allowed me the luxury of living a life of wonder and newness for me.

I have enrolled in my first course. I am completing a certificate in Reiki 1. I am really looking forward to this course and even though I want to wonder what I will do next, where I will be in 5 years, how will this affect my life, I am not. I am just going to enjoy today and I work through the stages of my past and complete, honor and either set free or display. As I work through these stages, I can remember, honor and bless them for they are the things and people who have made me as I am today....the good and the bad.

Ti Hita Karana.

Self-forgiveness

In our lives it is so hard to forgive. We can learn to forgive others over time or with the best intentions we can make the effort to forgive those who have hurt us....but in reality the only person we should make the concerted effort to forgive is our self. There is only one true person in your world and that is yourself. If we are unable to forgive our self, then we are continually undermining the one person who is important.

I am extremely hard on myself. I judge myself harder than anyone could or would ever judge me. I am judge and jury and show no mercy.

I am not like this with other people. I do show mercy many times to other people, sometimes it can be said to my own detriment, yet I never feel myself worthy enough to return this kindness to myself. I know that this stems from my deep seating thinking that I am not worthy enough of forgiveness...like my story is so bad that someone would sit in judgement and be shocked at the words coming out of my mouth. I know that this is not true, but this can be the level of judgement I bestow upon myself.

I am one of the kindest people I know. I continually try to look for the good in people. I continually believe that people are ultimately good and this goodness will shine through. I do not want to be the negative person who thinks that everyone and everything is out to get them. I do believe in the cosmic exchange and know that what I put out there will come back to me 10 fold.
Because I know this, I do really try to never put out bad things...I do not want to attract sickness disease and sadness, so I do not try to allow myself to dwell on them. I do give myself 24 hours to acknowledge these feelings, but dwelling any longer gives me an excuse, a reason to be negative and I will not allow these feelings.

I now have to trust myself to forgive myself. For everything. From now on, all negative thoughts that come into my mind, I will forgive. I will acknowledge and then forgive. Self forgiveness means I will have the ability to forgive others.

This will allow me to continue the journey of Tri Hita Karana - The Balance of Life.

Tri Hita Karana

The balance of life. I do not know the reason yet but this name will be my name. It is a Hindu saying meaning "respecting and working harmoniously with humanity, the environment and the Divine. It just soothes my soul and it is a mystery that I am yet to understand. Whether this name will be a business, a book, a business card or just a mantra for myself, I do not know...but what I do know is that this name will be the epitome of me.

Letting go of Limiting Illusions...

Today's post will be from Simple Abundance....Letting go of Limiting Illusions.

This is so ironical as I have just made the decision to not continue entering all the past entries that I wrote before I started this blog. They have been destroyed. Put to bed because no longer do I need to continually rehash all past experiences of my life. I can start again. I can re-invent the parts of me that I want changed and I can continue to love myself for exactly what and who I am.

I found I was dwelling on the negative side of my emotions at the time and I was finding it draining. I was wanting to rewrite these journals but felt I wasn't honouring my feelings of the time. By just allowing them to be as they are meant that I can move on and honour all the good things that will come my way. I do believe that there is a loving energy that guides us all. If we constantly think negative thoughts, surround ourselves in negative energies then this is all we will be exposed to. I do not want this. I want LOVE AND LIGHT...so I need to think of love and light.

How? For too long I have believed that external things will make me happy. Whether it be losing weight, making new friends, looking attractive, having a wonderful home....but the truth is these are just masks. The only way to truly make yourself happy is to love yourself.

I have to be continually reminding me that I am worth all that is given to me and that I will be the best I can be. I will not allow negative thoughts to enter my mind...they are just like clouds that float in the sky. I know the clouds will pass when I look at the sky so I now need to be reminding myself that negative words and feelings are just like these clouds...they too will pass and the sun will shine again.

Love and light to you all.

A remembrance of the old but a welcoming of the new...

I will be doing two posts today as I want to record the "old" of me for they deserve to be spoken but I want to welcome the new as snippets taken from the book titled "Simple Abundance - A Day Book of Comfort and Joy". A beautiful book.

Purple...

The first thing to come into my mind with this word is the move The Colour Purple with Whoopi Goldberg. It is a movie about racial discrimination. I have wondered why I thought of this word whether it was for the actual colour purple which is not a favourite of mine or if there is a deeper meaning.

Purple is a colour that I do not work with very much when I am making products to sell. I can never understand why this is so, but the item will remain unsold year after year. It will be picked up, held, soothed but returned as never quiet good enough. Nothing wrong with the product, just does not appeal to the mass public for sale. is this how I view myself? Never quite good enough for sale. never quite valued highly. Happy if someone has to have the purple product, but not something that they necessarily want. I think of myself like the doll that sits on the shelf. Lovely to look at, but no one really loves her enough to take her with them. They are happy to have her sitting on the shelf as there is merits in keeping her, but just a doll that does not need a whole lot of love.

And yet, the purple word evoked the title of the movie. The Colour Purple is my first strong view on this word for today. This movie is about racial discrimination and I do feel discrimination. I am judged by the actions of others and even though I am not guilty of these so call injustices, I am held accountable. I am trapped by these emotions as outwardly I can dismiss such negativity but inwardly, these eat away at my confidence little by little. Most often these discriminations are nothing that I know about, only by rejection am I made aware that there is a problem.

Purple is a rich colour, full of prestige and glamour. It is a colour of royalty and used in the most formal ceremonies. Maybe it is high time that I wrap myself in a blanket of purple to learn how to hold myself in high esteem. Purple can give me an edge in prestige because I am precious and worthy of being held in high esteem and for too long I have allowed the discrimination's of purple to continually drag me down to the point that I do not value myself.

After many years of constantly doubting myself, you begin to believe the non-sensical rubbish that people feel is their right to throw at you. My magic purple blanket will help me deflect these barbs of negativity so I can continue on my journey of self discovery.

Written 11th April 2010.

This is so negative and sad. I was preparing for battle just as a warrior would wrap themselves in shields to protect their hearts, I was attempting to wrap myself in a purple cloak to shield these barbs away. I do not feel like that anymore. Negativity breeds negativity and I only want Love and Light to be in my life.

When I open the Day Book today, today's verse is Beauty: Opening our eyes to the beauty that surrounds us.

This is the path I am on and will continue on. Others have their rights to negativity and sadness, but not I. No longer will I allow feelings of hurt, betrayal to wear me down. They are just like clouds in the sky floating past. I will acknowledge them and then just watch them sail by. Just because these obstacles come to me, this does not mean I have to allow them into me. I can acknowledge and then release. I am not going to allow myself to dwell on negativity in any form.

Simple Abundance reminds us to be grateful for all the lessons that pass by in our life for it is with these lessons that we learn how to become to truly appreciate all the Love and Light in our life. I believe that we all come to a point in our life where we look at all that we have, wonder about all that we want and then realise that we have always had everything that we need right here with us the whole time. I have always been searching for the next thing that would make me happy, make me be the person I thought I had to be, yet I have always been there.
Hidden by a mountain of things that I deemed necessary to be the person I was chasing...

I will release these things. I no longer need them.

Elegance

How do you become elegant when you don't even know where to start? Is elegance an inbuilt trait that some are born with and others not? Or is it a learned trait that you acquire through study and observation. I want to become more elegant in all that I do. Dave would call it High Maintenance but me, I just know that at this point in my life I want it all.

If you could buy it, I would buy it right now. The only problem is I do not know what I am to buy. I have a friend of whom I consider to be extremely elegant. I fear that I will copy her and that is not what I want to do. I know that she was not born into elegance. It has been a learned thing for her and I was to guess I would assume she decided that she was only having the best and nothing else would suffice.

In my childhood, the more the better...It made you "richer" if you could have the most wool, or the most fabric. Yet in reality, the cupboards squashed with all types of foods, clothes overflowing out of cupboards and equipment for all the hobbies just meant that we grew up living in a house where nothing was put away...all was left out and nothing eventually was valued as it was always just there.

I am in a middle ground of this lifestyle. True, I have way too much stuff because I have purchased it over time and now I consider it wasteful to remove it from my house without using it. The truth is though, how much stuff do we actually use. Less than a third of all that we buy.

I find now that I want less, but what I do want I want to be beautiful and simply be and as a clutter author once quoted, "If it is worth keeping, then it is worth displaying beautifully, not haphazardly thrown in a cupboard for the one day when I may want to use it."

With my broken foot, I have got a little lazy. Each day is a struggle at the moment to just do the little things without all the rest, but I have got too lazy now. Clutter is raising it's ugly head again and this just exemplifies the mess I feel when I look at my house.

Dinner with my friend was beautiful. It was a simple meal prepared with love, yet displayed with love and attention to detail. No just slap it together on a plate for her. Each moment is a moment to treasure so details are important.

I was so lucky to see a photo of her put on face book that showed her morning face. Goodness me, it is nothing like the face you will see during the day or at the end of the evening. She works to make herself look good. I don't. If it doesn't happen first time, I am not that concerned and even used to wear it as a badge of honour that I am different so therefore do not need to try.

That is so wrong and the elegant person inside me has been screaming to be allowed to come out. I am ready to become that elegant person. I want every meal to be a 3 course gourmet meal and I want every occasion to be the absolute best it can be. I want my crafts to be beautiful not just done so they can be sold. I would rather not sell a craft if I see it as mass produced...that is no longer me. I want simplistic elegance with a touch of class. I want to beautify my home and myself for me. I do not care what others think. This is my time to just make all I have around me beautiful. Not just finished or nearly done, I want it all done - all beautiful - and all elegant.


This post was originally written on the 2nd May 2010 and today when I was continuing my process of decluttering, it fell out. It hadn't been filed which is extremely unusual for me...so I took this as a sign to look at it and take notice of the message. And yet again, an extremely important message and again, extremely relevant to me as I am today....thank you.