When you know that God doesn't close one door without opening another door, then it feels easier to somehow understand all the changes that are happening with me.
The other bit of information that I have read lately is that this is the year about me. I have always done what others have wanted me to do for years. I needed to do this to be the mother/wife/friend I needed to be, but now I am ready for this year to be about me.
What is it I really want? What is it that I really need to do? There are no limits either self imposed or imposed by anyone else. I have no time frame. There is no structure and guidelines that I will follow. I will just follow my nose for when you open the doors, the beginnings of the newness will flow towards you.
I have always wanted/needed to control all of everything around me. I would mistrust others to do anything that needed to be done. Slowly, but no...
Not slowly, quite quickly for me, I have allowed things to happen that I have felt no need to control. I have been happy to just sit back and watch what happens. This has been most evident with my children. I put many years of good, hard work into them to allow them to be the adults that they are now. I now have to let them fly. Not hover over the top of them. They deserve to be able to live a life free of encumbrances and people imparting well mentioned advise which is just nostalgia from their pasts, free to live a life of fullness and wonder. The releasing of the bonds has allowed me the luxury of living a life of wonder and newness for me.
I have enrolled in my first course. I am completing a certificate in Reiki 1. I am really looking forward to this course and even though I want to wonder what I will do next, where I will be in 5 years, how will this affect my life, I am not. I am just going to enjoy today and I work through the stages of my past and complete, honor and either set free or display. As I work through these stages, I can remember, honor and bless them for they are the things and people who have made me as I am today....the good and the bad.
Ti Hita Karana.
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