Changes....

One of the traits I notice about myself as I get older is that I acknowledge change quicker than I have in previous stages of my life.  I do acknowledge that I am a "roll with the punches" type of girl, but occasionally there have been things happen that throw me a curve ball and I react strongly, not always in the nicest manner.

I am feeling one of those changes at the moment.  Not quite able to put my finger on it...contemplating many things...unsure of which it would actually be.  Menopause, the close of a stage of my life as a mother with my youngest child leaving school and turning 18, a sister who I have developed an even closer relationship moving away after 10 or so years, a yearning for more yet not sure what is growing in me or more likely a mixture of all of the above and many more unsaid things.  Life is a constant change and we all learn to ride the ebbs and lows.

Today it is raining and it feels cleansing.  Like a washing of the past and a promise that the new will be cleansed, shiny and bright. 

I have always wanted to be in charge and know exactly what is coming my way.  What I am feeling is reminding me that I do not always know and sometimes, I need to be able to rest, renew and refresh myself with time, patience and love to be able to take on the next step that comes to me.

A time of recover, renewal and the knowledge that there is a passing of the guard.  Maybe it is a grief of sorts I am feeling.  Allow the grief, acknowledge the grief and remember like all other moments, they pass and new directions can be revealed.