I was asked how to be organised. I thought for a moment and the first word that came to my mind was "TOUCH SOMETHING ONCE". So simple, yet so powerful. To be truthful, this was probably the first time I had voiced what I generally did with me. If you touch it once, you deal with it. If you pick it up numerous times, all you are doing is creating clutter. Clutter breeds and before you know it, there is piles of stuff everywhere all required immediate attention. We become overwhelmed and perpetuate the feeling of being hopeless and unorganised thus ensuring the cycle continues.
I have slipped a little in my observance of my little rule. I may be touching it 3 times now, but I always know when this happens for a fall into a state of disarray. It becomes bedlam in my mind, then quickly following into my house.
It is time to stop the touching. Time to go back to touching once.
In time, you will find that you just have too many things that needs touching and you feel the urge to simplify the systems you have. We all can have too many things, too many pens, too many craft books, all purchased with good intentions, just never the follow through.
Time to touch them once again. To either keep and honor or remove to bless someone else.
It is time....touch something once.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
It is not your business what others think about you. You do not need to know...you do not have the right to know for these thoughts do not belong to you...they belong to others as they continue the journey of their life. It is up to you do live the life you know you are supposed to be living, not trying to fit the mould of what others say or think. The only thoughts you can control are the thoughts of your own mind. It is your duty to Mother Earth to fill these thoughts with love, not fear nor anger, but of love. We need to see our neighbours as our friends, not enemies. We need to see a stranger as a friend we have not met yet. We must stop living in fear of what may happen and what will people think of me. We just have to be here now and live the life we have to the fullness of love.
Tri Hita Karana
Tri Hita Karana
Thursday, February 3, 2011
4th February 2011
Today I drew a card that represented Compassion and Kindness to oneself. The card advised me that I am too hard on myself. I judge even the most minute detail and then work so hard to try and clarify what it means, how to fix it, what could/would change if things were different. I need to show some compassion and kindness to myself.
I am OK. I will be OK, and it is all OK.
Why is it we are able to show compassion and kindness to others even God's many creatures, yet with ourselves we are so hard? We expect nothing but perfection from ourselves, yet as mothers, we are willing to keep on helping our children learn the lessons in life. We keep on picking them up when they fall, when they make a mistake, yet, we are not willing to do this to our self. We need to constantly nurture the child within us...even the adult. We will make mistakes. Few mistakes are intention. For whatever reason, they happen. It is OK. The world will continue, we will continue and if we are able to view this as a learning lesson, the more the better. Stop being so hard on ourselves. I need to realise that I am learning and there will be things that I could/should have done better. They were done the best I could at the time with the knowledge that I had at the time. Today I may know differently, yesterday I didn't.
I will stop judging myself so harshly, and just graciously accept each and every day as it is.
I am OK. I will be OK, and it is all OK.
Why is it we are able to show compassion and kindness to others even God's many creatures, yet with ourselves we are so hard? We expect nothing but perfection from ourselves, yet as mothers, we are willing to keep on helping our children learn the lessons in life. We keep on picking them up when they fall, when they make a mistake, yet, we are not willing to do this to our self. We need to constantly nurture the child within us...even the adult. We will make mistakes. Few mistakes are intention. For whatever reason, they happen. It is OK. The world will continue, we will continue and if we are able to view this as a learning lesson, the more the better. Stop being so hard on ourselves. I need to realise that I am learning and there will be things that I could/should have done better. They were done the best I could at the time with the knowledge that I had at the time. Today I may know differently, yesterday I didn't.
I will stop judging myself so harshly, and just graciously accept each and every day as it is.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Give a little...
I have a saying going through my head...."If we give a little, then we will get a whole lot back". It makes sense to me, I am just pondering why it is in my head. I am not doing it that is why. People are annoying me at the moment. I know I am hard to live with at moment and I know that I just don't have it in me to give more than I receive at the moment. But....if I gave more then I would get more back....
There are some days when I know that this is the best thing to do, but I don't want to. As mums and wives we spend so much of our time giving, giving, giving never really asking for anything in return. Lately I have felt that I have given too much and I need to hold onto what I have. No-one understands this as it goes against my very being, my soul, all that everyone has ever known about me.
When we feel like this are we supposed to keep on giving or are we allowed to just be? Exactly as we are...no questions, no qualms. I am tired. I am unsure of many things at the moment. I am dealing with my grief and the grief of my adult/children who suffer grief so monumentally. I need to be just me yet this voice keeps telling me to give a little more. I know it is for my benefit but I just want to say NOOO.
I am doing some very serious meditations that are delving deep into my inner being. They are drawing up feelings of abandonment and rejection and I am feeling a strong need to protect myself yet again. I am just trying to allow these feelings to surface, and float by. But in re-surfacing after all these years, they are tough. For now, I am hurting. I know it will pass, but for now I am hurting.
I will give a little to get a lot back, in time, but for now I am hurting and I am wailing for the lost me that I am beginning to find. I am grieving for many things...me, Dad and now Amber.
I will release them all but I need to say goodbye first. Stay with me, hold my hand, and it will be OK.
There are some days when I know that this is the best thing to do, but I don't want to. As mums and wives we spend so much of our time giving, giving, giving never really asking for anything in return. Lately I have felt that I have given too much and I need to hold onto what I have. No-one understands this as it goes against my very being, my soul, all that everyone has ever known about me.
When we feel like this are we supposed to keep on giving or are we allowed to just be? Exactly as we are...no questions, no qualms. I am tired. I am unsure of many things at the moment. I am dealing with my grief and the grief of my adult/children who suffer grief so monumentally. I need to be just me yet this voice keeps telling me to give a little more. I know it is for my benefit but I just want to say NOOO.
I am doing some very serious meditations that are delving deep into my inner being. They are drawing up feelings of abandonment and rejection and I am feeling a strong need to protect myself yet again. I am just trying to allow these feelings to surface, and float by. But in re-surfacing after all these years, they are tough. For now, I am hurting. I know it will pass, but for now I am hurting.
I will give a little to get a lot back, in time, but for now I am hurting and I am wailing for the lost me that I am beginning to find. I am grieving for many things...me, Dad and now Amber.
I will release them all but I need to say goodbye first. Stay with me, hold my hand, and it will be OK.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
2nd February 2011
Trust. There are days when you just have to trust that it will be OK. For the people in Far North Queensland, they are trusting that their preparations are adequate, that the authorities will be able to keep them informed so as the community will be able to make the best most informed decision as to what to do next. My heart and hopes go out to them all.
But, for me....trust means that I believe this voice, this feeling that I have inside me that all will be OK. I have been thinking how much I charge for my services. I bawk at this because as far as I see I do not even have a service to offer at the stage. Not yet I am being told, but I will. I struggle with this. I know that I will be a Healer, but even then I am not sure what that really means.
For the complete control freak that I am, for the first time in my life, I am flying by the seat of my pants...so to speak. I am not used to be out of control and it is a weird sensation for me. I know that there is so much I will learn but for now, I am being told to continue to clear the path way so to speak. I am closing off loose ends of half started jobs as well as minimising lots of things in my life. I will not have the time to idly wander between projects, only half committing to way too many things in my life. I have a job to do and I am setting myself up in the best way possible to do this job to the best of my ability.
I am going through so many objects, looking, pondering, questioning whether I need it in my life. I am realising that most of the things I am looking at I do not. I have just held onto them just in case the day would come when I would. I know now that it won't. This is part of an old me that I am looking at, loving and leaving behind. This part of me is an important part of me, but I do not have to continue lugging this load on my back on a daily basis.
During meditation I got asked to mentally go back to my earliest memories, and study them. What did I feel, who was there, and what was happening...
My earliest memories was at my paternal grandparents house. Nanna R was there along with Pop R. Nanna R didn't like mum and didn't believe that I was Dad's child...that mum tricked him into marrying him. Dad was there and I clearly felt that both Nanna R and Dad were not really loving to me. I was not wanted was what I felt. I wasn't and mum wasn't. I think I was about 2 years old. That feeling of not being wanted has continued way through in my life and I am now able to see where it has manifested into my feelings these days. I have been told to work on feelings between the years 1 to 7. The critical years. I am to acknowledge and let go. They are there but not as important as the importance that I give to them. I can let them go....just as the clouds that float past me in the afternoon sky, I am to let these feelings go as well.
I will continue to work with these feelings within these years. I am finding it insightful not scary and it is giving me an opportunity to really try and see where my rejected feelings are manifesting from.
Love and Light --- Tri Hita Karana...
But, for me....trust means that I believe this voice, this feeling that I have inside me that all will be OK. I have been thinking how much I charge for my services. I bawk at this because as far as I see I do not even have a service to offer at the stage. Not yet I am being told, but I will. I struggle with this. I know that I will be a Healer, but even then I am not sure what that really means.
For the complete control freak that I am, for the first time in my life, I am flying by the seat of my pants...so to speak. I am not used to be out of control and it is a weird sensation for me. I know that there is so much I will learn but for now, I am being told to continue to clear the path way so to speak. I am closing off loose ends of half started jobs as well as minimising lots of things in my life. I will not have the time to idly wander between projects, only half committing to way too many things in my life. I have a job to do and I am setting myself up in the best way possible to do this job to the best of my ability.
I am going through so many objects, looking, pondering, questioning whether I need it in my life. I am realising that most of the things I am looking at I do not. I have just held onto them just in case the day would come when I would. I know now that it won't. This is part of an old me that I am looking at, loving and leaving behind. This part of me is an important part of me, but I do not have to continue lugging this load on my back on a daily basis.
During meditation I got asked to mentally go back to my earliest memories, and study them. What did I feel, who was there, and what was happening...
My earliest memories was at my paternal grandparents house. Nanna R was there along with Pop R. Nanna R didn't like mum and didn't believe that I was Dad's child...that mum tricked him into marrying him. Dad was there and I clearly felt that both Nanna R and Dad were not really loving to me. I was not wanted was what I felt. I wasn't and mum wasn't. I think I was about 2 years old. That feeling of not being wanted has continued way through in my life and I am now able to see where it has manifested into my feelings these days. I have been told to work on feelings between the years 1 to 7. The critical years. I am to acknowledge and let go. They are there but not as important as the importance that I give to them. I can let them go....just as the clouds that float past me in the afternoon sky, I am to let these feelings go as well.
I will continue to work with these feelings within these years. I am finding it insightful not scary and it is giving me an opportunity to really try and see where my rejected feelings are manifesting from.
Love and Light --- Tri Hita Karana...
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