One of the traits I notice about myself as I get older is that I acknowledge change quicker than I have in previous stages of my life. I do acknowledge that I am a "roll with the punches" type of girl, but occasionally there have been things happen that throw me a curve ball and I react strongly, not always in the nicest manner.I am feeling one of those changes at the moment. Not quite able to put my finger on it...contemplating many things...unsure of which it would actually be. Menopause, the close of a stage of my life as a mother with my youngest child leaving school and turning 18, a sister who I have developed an even closer relationship moving away after 10 or so years, a yearning for more yet not sure what is growing in me or more likely a mixture of all of the above and many more unsaid things. Life is a constant change and we all learn to ride the ebbs and lows.
Today it is raining and it feels cleansing. Like a washing of the past and a promise that the new will be cleansed, shiny and bright.
I have always wanted to be in charge and know exactly what is coming my way. What I am feeling is reminding me that I do not always know and sometimes, I need to be able to rest, renew and refresh myself with time, patience and love to be able to take on the next step that comes to me.
A time of recover, renewal and the knowledge that there is a passing of the guard. Maybe it is a grief of sorts I am feeling. Allow the grief, acknowledge the grief and remember like all other moments, they pass and new directions can be revealed.
